I Have A Theory

Brace yourselves for impact, this one is going to change forever the way we look at migrating koalas. So you thought you knew everything about those furry creatures, didn't you? You thought they were migrating once a year to a better, more suitable environment. And you thought that only the sexiest ones got laid. Well switch your grey sponge to learning mode. I am your discovery channel. Without the lies.
Ah, I see some of you scratching your bald heads... But it is true: Discovery channel is actually a huge government conspiracy to undermine the animal kingdom's credibility. They only show half-witted monkeys masturbating frantically, or even worse elephants stomping on red mushrooms. How would you react if we went into an asylum, filmed a bunch of mentally-challenged people and sent the tape to our nearest alien neighbors? You'd be pissed off! Well that's exactly what the Discovery Channel is doing. They don't want you to know that most animals are actually way smarter than all of us combined, and they certainly don't want us to know that ugly koalas are migrating to Canada each year to get laid. Because everybody knows that Canada has the most beautiful ladies in the world, human and animal.
Now please excuse me, I have to go..... study. (Yes, that should convince them... What? they can read between parenthesis? Oops....)

Well until next time,

Tata