Surprise!!!!

Yeah... I'm back. So for all of you who actually checked back from time to time, congrats!!
I won't be saying much tonight, 'cause I'm probably too wasted to say anythying entertaining, but you must know that I am not dead. I noticed that when some kind of salty liquid was oozing out of every pore of my body today...
For those who aren't sure of what I'm actually doing for a living, I can tell you this (but nothing more, 'cause then I'd have to kill you...) : I am in charge of all maintenance involved in the UAV system...
Enough said, just enjoy the fact that I'll be back soon.
Anyway the night is getting old, my beer is almost empty and my guests are gone... So I should probably go to bed... Right?
Well you know me...

Tata!

manbous

Busted lawnmower...

"Yahrrr... Ye shall not be unsatisfied with this fine product, me lad..."
Well that's bullcrap. And it's the last time I buy anything at Canadian Tire, except the next time, when I'll be spending my hard earned Canadian Tire dollars....
So my lawnmower broke the second time I used it. And I have no idea what's wrong with it, 'cause you see I know as much about mecanics as a penguin knows about soldering a new transistor on a PCB...
So I'll go over there, ask for service, get told to take a number (#7813), look up and see that they are currently "serving" #12, curse, look around to see if anyone is actually standing in line, then quickly tear off the first two digits on my ticket. At this point they usually close the counter for lunch break (it's 15:42!!!!!!), or the only person behind the counter is a teenaged girl who doesn't know shit about anything other than what's cool these days...
So I guess I'll ask a friend to come look at it instead. He'll say "Yep, it's busted, man. You should, like, return it, or somethin'..."
...*sigh*...
One day, I'll be a fish. Then we'll see who's the boss!

In the mean time, I'll keep my guard up, to fend off all those flower-throwing tree-huggers.
So should you.

Tata

Happy fish, sad fish... Who knows? Those bastards are always smiling....

Today my donkey had its first egg.
Yes, I said donkey. I had to let my rhino go... He was getting too independent and stuff... I guess when they get to a certain age, you just can't reason with them. He thought he had a shot at Hollywood, the poor thing. I tried to convince him that the world out there wasn't really meant to accomodate a fully grown rhinoceros, but all I got for an answer was a kind of savage roar that made me wish I was born deaf... So Alfonso is gone, and in my grief I ran to the nearest pet store and bought a donkey. Now since I really don't have that much imagination, I call him Alfonso... But you should see him! He's a non-stop sex-machine! His sole purpose in life is to mate: and he's really not picky.
Just yesterday, for example, he tried to hump my subwoofer... but I guess the vibrations scared him, because he ran away, squealing like a pig when I turned on "The Bed's Too Big Without You" from The Police...
After all that excitment, I figured he would be hungry. I didn't really know what donkeys ate, so I gave him a bowl of maple ice cream with chocolate chips....
... And today he had his first egg. I watched it hatch, and I was really anoyed at the fact that the fish that came out of the egg didn't even look like a normal fish: it was circumcised.
So that brings me back to the title: is that fish smiling because he's happy, or because the pain of not being in the water is so horrible that his lips are jammed there?
In conclusion, here is my theory about life: if you scare a donkey into producing an egg, a smiling circumcised fish will be brought to life. Now how hard was that? And while I'm at it, you want to know our purpose in life? We're here to find out why the answer is 42.

Think about it.

Tata

Oh well... I guess I'll sell the house right away then...

Yep. I just learned that my summer, which was supposed to be all about the three B's (BBQ, Booze and Babes), is going to be cut short. I am leaving for Suffield (about 200 km south east of Calgary, Alberta) on August 3rd, and I really don't know when I'll be back.
I've heard something like mid-september, but I also know we're suposed to go to Cold Lake (once again) until end of October. Will we be back in between, or will we just take a bus ride straight to Cold Lake from Suffield? Who knows....
And that's not the end. We still have to train with the rest of the brigade in November, who-knows-where (one thing's for sure, it won't be in Quebec)
I must admit I'm starting to find it a bit heavy... I knew that going to Afghanistan in January 2006 meant we had a lot of training ahead, but I wasn't prepared for this... I guess I'll adapt once more, and in the end I'll be glad I did.

On a lighter note, I just received my medal for Afghanistan 2004!

I have 2 months left before all hell breaks loose, and I'd like to fully take advantage of that time. So for those who don't know me, that means parties at my place. Lots of them. And bring as many meople as you can.

See you soon, my dearest friends and acquaintances... :)

Tata