An update on Albert, my beer fridge gnome

I fired Albert.
He drank himself stupid the other night and started humping a couple of bottles in the fridge. It got so intense at one point that the fridge began to rock left and right, until it fell on its side. Every single bottle of beer that was inside broke. Albert got out, crawled to a tissue box nearby, dried himself with way too many pieces of tissue, then "marked" the whole living room. Gnome urine smells extremely foul, especially after drinking that much.
I'm a patient man, and I really respect Albert, so normally I would've just laughed and let him sleep it off. But what motivated me to fire him was the words he wrote with his urine on the wall: "Death to Guinness; Viva la Corona!"
How he learned our language so fast, I'll never understand. But the fact is that he is no longer sane and I can't have a wuss for a beer bodyguard.
His position's open, so send your applications and resumés.