I'm gonna punch him in the junk

Well this is awkward...

For you of course. You really thought this particular insanity was over, didn't you? You thought that after living a normal life this long, you wouldn't have to deal with this anymore.

Sorry.

I got creative again.

Yup, I said creative. You'll have to deal with an assortment of pink scarves and mankinis. Unless you agree to very simple terms: you read, you (insert personal feeling), and you go on with your (insert snazzy burn) life.

Well you still have that picture of me in a mankini in your mind, so let's just go with it then...

And that's what they do in Europe. They go with it. A bit too far actually.

... Who the fuck thought that it would be OK for a man to wear a piece of string???? No one on Earth thinks that's acceptable. Or do they??

And that's where Slick Lips Shaun comes in. Forgive me for the lengthy introduction, but I think this particular character deserves it. This is not a very (touchy-feely) romantic story, nor am I going to entertain you with thick moustaches and macho-grade junk-humour. Or maybe just a little.

Our lip-fairy friend unfortunately happened to stumble upon unfavourable wind and licked the rough fabric of reality, only to discover the marvellous taste of European life... One that would soon expose his many, if yet unwanted flaws.
Slick Lips Shaun means no harm. All he wishes for is shit to be straight.
"Ever since I've get here all I done was help you guys..... I'm a set this shit right, 'coz that shit's all fucked up"
We know, Shaun, we know... It's all fucked up... But thank the Gods you're here!!!! Oh shit, did I offend you with the 's' after God? I can't say, you guys are so confusing.... Is religion OK in US military? Or are you open to individual thinking? Mmm.. better be on the safe side and obey orders.

Oh wait, you don't do that, do you Shaun?